Write It Sideways

Excerpt Critique: “It’s Not Me,” YA Horror

Please welcome today’s anonymous aspiring author, ready for a peer critique. Take a moment to read the excerpt, then please leave some thoughtful feedback in the comment section below.

If you are a writer whose excerpt has appeared anonymously on Write It Sideways, and now you’d like your name to appear on your piece, please contact me.

If you’re interested in submitting an excerpt to be critiqued, please keep an eye out for future calls which are advertised here a couple of times per year.

It’s Not Me

YA Horror

“Angelica!”

Again with the yelling.

My sister seriously doesn’t get the idea of sleeping in. Or how mornings should be enjoyed in peace and—

“You said you’d drive today!”

Yeah. Yeah.

Glancing at the clock I’m annoyed to find I could have slept in twenty more minutes. Georgie was up hours ago, I’m sure. She loves the mirror and as hard as the truth is to me, that stupid piece of glass–and boys–love her.

I didn’t sleep well. I dreamed about Norma. My shrink told me to write down any memories that come to me, including dreams. But this sounds so cliché, like the heroine in a book who has an epiphany from a strange dream full of symbolism. It’s not me.

I put the scissors and newspaper away from last night. The obituaries can wait. My stomach grumbles, and I decide I’m okay to get up now, Dad’s making pancakes. Only in my dreams.

Dad’s already at work and Mom’s long gone.

I slither on the cleanest jeans from off the floor. One quick check in the mirror tells me my brown hair is a mess. I flip my head over, rub my hands through and straighten up. That’s how I roll.

Potential Feedback Prompts

When you respond, you might consider:

Thanks!