Write It Sideways

Excerpt Critique: “Lord of Smuggler Cove,” Romance

Please welcome today’s anonymous aspiring author ready for a peer critique. Take a moment to read the excerpt, then please leave some thoughtful feedback in the comment section below.

Note: If you are a writer whose excerpt has appeared anonymously on Write It Sideways, and now you’d like your name to appear on your piece, please contact me.

Historical Romance

Matthew Eden turned abruptly when his companion was unexpectedly pulled from his side. “Rory! What on earth is the matter with you? Let her go!” exclaimed Matthew as outraged as Fiona herself.

“Why should I? You’ve been held captive and it took a devil of a time to track you down. For two days we’ve not heard a word from you! All we found was the broken port bottle in the cellar. And here’s this young woman with a knife in her hand holding on to you to keep you from escaping. What do you expect me to think?”

“For your information, the ‘knife’ as you call it, is a gardening tool. Which, come to think of it, needs sharpening so I can even cut flowers properly. That is, if you would have the good sense to let me go!” and with that she gave him a swift kick in one of his legs, having learned that trick from her brother Avery.

Not expecting anything like that, the stranger inadvertently loosened his grip, and she immediately bent down to pick up the knife. The Viscount couldn’t help enjoying the graceful curves of her figure as she did this, but she quickly backed away to stand near Matthew. “Do you know this person, Mr. Eden?” she asked disgustedly.

“Unfortunately yes. This uncouth impolite person is my elder brother, Rory Prestwood Lewisham Eden, Viscount of Daventry. Usually he’s a good enough chap, but every once in a while, his temper gets out of hand.”

Potential Feedback Prompts

When you respond, you might consider:

Thanks!