Write It Sideways

Excerpt Critique: “Shadowed,” YA Fantasy

Here’s our fourth fiction excerpt ready for critique.

You can check out the previous ones here:

As you can see, YA fantasy seems to be the most popular genre amongst our readers. Still, I think it’s wise to mix things up every now and then.

Keep an eye out later this week for another call for excerpt submissions, which will include all genres except fantasy and YA fantasy.

Please leave some feedback for this aspiring writer:


YA fantasy

I was nervous and it had nothing to do with the cop car trailing us. It was a common occurrence in this small town at nearly two in the morning and we weren’t planning any mischief, despite what our young appearance suggested. I looked fourteen. Silas looked eighteen. We were closer to three hundred.

Pretending not to notice the headlights at our backs, we kept sauntering astride on the cobblestone walk. I briefly wonder what they thought about us — a boy and a girl wearing all black in late September, with no other company. Not too long ago getting caught in such a state would have had severe consequences. At the very least it would damage one’s reputation, at worst one would be executed as a witch, unless there was an excellent reason. Times were different now, as evidenced by the car speeding up, leaving Silas and I in darkness.

“That’s it,” I said, nodding my head to indicate the building that was a few feet off. It was hard to miss. The structure easily took up its own city block. Silas paused to look at the building, the nearby lamppost providing enough light for us to clearly see it.

With the color leaving the bricks, the plaster decaying and the few decades of grime and graffiti on the walls, the place looked abandoned. Anyone passing by would be certain there wasn’t anything of interest inside — which was the point. Not just anyone could know of this place. But I knew about it. It’d been a sanctuary to me for the past four years and I wanted Silas to see it.

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