Write It Sideways

Excerpt Critique: “Sorry Charli,” Women’s Fiction

Please welcome today’s aspiring author, Reese Ryan, ready for a peer critique.

Take a moment to read the excerpt and leave some thoughtful feedback in the comment section below.

If you are a writer whose excerpt has appeared anonymously on Write It Sideways, and now you’d like your name to appear on your piece, contact me.

If you’d like to submit your own writing for critique, keep an eye out for future calls posted on the blog.

Sorry Charli

Women’s Fiction

Please note: This excerpt is taken from the beginning of the work.

“You’re the last person in the Free World who isn’t on Facebook, Charli!” Morgan Holland, my best friend since college, proclaims as if it were akin to eating soup with one’s hands or an inability to walk upright.

I sit across from Morgan at our usual Max & Erma’s booth debating my response. Her plea isn’t new, but today she’s really worked up about it.

“Don’t you think you’re being a touch melodramatic?” I return to the Nachos Grande I’ve been attacking mercilessly. I’m starving. All I’ve eaten today is what I scavenged from the conference room deli tray.

“No! I’m not!” Morgan pokes the air with her salad fork. “Everyone is on Facebook these days. Everyone.”

“My parents aren’t.” The corner of my mouth rises in a slight smirk. “Guess I come from a long line of social media slackers.”

“It’s not that long a line,” Morgan counters. “I’m Facebook friends with your niece, Shelli.”

I shrug my shoulders and make a mental note to ask my sister, Tess, about it when I get home. Then I dig into my nachos again.

Morgan folds her arms, nostrils flared and eyebrows raised. She’ll wait as long as it takes.

“The fact that my 12-year-old niece is on Facebook proves my point exactly. Facebook is for kids. We’re grownups. We don’t always act like it, but we are.”

“My 80-year-old nana is on Facebook!” Morgan shrieks.

Three 20-somethings giggle, shaking their heads in collective disbelief. At 29 I’ve become a relic.

Potential Feedback Prompts

When you respond, you might consider: