Please welcome today’s aspiring author, Aimee Cottle, ready for a peer critique.
Take a moment to read the excerpt and leave some thoughtful feedback in the comment section below.
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To Have and To Hold
Romance
Please note: This excerpt is taken from the beginning of the work.
Gwen and Holden met during their first year at university. They had been in each other’s classes for nearly eight months before a group presentation assignment was handed out and they were paired together. This group presentation led to many hours spent together in the university library; studying books and drinking copious amounts of coffee. After the group presentation, for which the pair earned an A, Holden and Gwen began to spend more and more time together; attending various parties and functions together and studying for class exams in the library most nights. It was during this time that Holden learnt that Gwen had a flair for writing, and convinced her to pursue that talent. Encouraged by Holden, Gwen signed up for extra classes in Creative Writing and Scriptwriting.
Before they knew it, though, the academic year was over and the pair were separated over summer break. Gwen went home to her parent’s home in Paris, and Holden stayed near the university in his brother’s apartment. They kept in touch, regularly, over the month they were apart, though, and Gwen let Holden know about everything she was doing; visiting Bordeaux, and charity work in Africa. A month before they were due to start back at university for their second year, Holden asked Gwen where she would be living when she came back, and tentatively asked if she would consider renting a flat with him.
Potential Feedback Prompts
When you respond, you might consider:
- your immediate reactions
- likes and dislikes
- anything that seems unclear
- language issues
- point of view
- voice
- inconsistencies
- general encouragement
Thanks!