Today’s post is written by Jeff Goins of Jeff Goins, Writer. Thanks, Jeff!
I’m a naturally negative person. Call me crazy, but I think most writers are.
There’s something about being creative that causes you to be cynical. It must be the hyper-sensitivity to all things and the general intuitiveness that artists tend to possess.
If we’re not careful, this can lead to jadedness. Pretty easily, actually.
The other morning, I was reading a book that challenged me to list five things for which I was grateful. Without realizing it, I instinctively scoffed.
“Yeah right,” I thought. “Next…”
Whoa. Where did that come from? Was I really blowing off the idea of intentional gratitude as cliche?
Indeed I was.
So I decided to do it. I listed five things that came immediately to mind that I was grateful for. They were:
- My morning run
- The new house my wife and I just bought
- My dog (who loves without condition)
- The excitement of starting the week with some new work responsibilities
- The chance to travel, recently
I let each of those stew for a moment. Immediately, I found myself smiling, somewhat uncontrollably. And then, other thoughts came to mind. Such as the opportunity to work on a book with my boss and being a part of a new team. In fact, the very prospect of being able to write as part of job made me grin uncontrollably.
“Wow,” I thought. “I must not be a very grateful person. Because this feels strange. But I kind of like it.”
My whole day looked different. All because of gratitude.
I believe we writers need to do a better job of intentionally reminding ourselves of the many blessings we experience. Here are three reasons why:
1. Because the world is a dark enough place, already.
And writers tend to empathize with the pain and suffering in the world. As artists, we internalize it and make it our own. This can be a beautiful act of compassion, but it can also lead to an unhealthy burden.
This heavy load we bear can lead us to feeling bitter. We can become jaded and even negative. Worse yet, we can begin to expect bad things to happen.
And this is not what we’re called to do. We are called to bring light and hope into the world through beauty and truth.
By identifying a few things for which you can be grateful for every day, you’ll find yourself able to acknowledge the harsh realities of the world without getting sucked into a cycle of negativity and pessimism.
2. Because you need to get over yourself.
Writers are also pretty insecure, envious people. Even some of the most accomplished writers and bloggers I know compare themselves to others. This is, to some degree, quite natural. And even a little healthy competition isn’t bad; it can motivate you to get better at your craft.
But unfortunately, this constant comparison can turn into a compulsion. It can kill your art and immobilize you as a creative.
It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and the fact that you only have ten blog subscribers or that your book is barely selling. But no one ever changed the world by feeling sorry for herself. In fact, I’ve never met an insecure person who inspired me.
You need to kick this addiction to comparing yourself to others and be comfortable with the writer you are, and are becoming.
Paradoxically, the best way to do this is to get over yourself. Once you realize that your art is not about you, you can be free from expectation (even your own) to do what you need to do to create change. This isn’t about you or your fans or even money. It’s about making a difference.
3. Because you already have more than you realize.
Many writers I know are unnecessarily self-deprecating. They lament not being better or having more influence. And in so doing, they push away those whom they’ve initially attracted. It’s a terrible cycle, because this only causes them to feel even more sorry for themselves.
The truth is that you probably have more than you think.
Right now, there are people listening to you, watching you, tuned in to what you have to say. They’re waiting for your next move. And you’re oblivious.
I know this, because it’s happened to me time and time again.
Right now, someone is watching you. They’re paying attention to your art. Thank God for that. Treat this reality with care and respect. Be grateful for it.
As you do so, you will find others are drawn to you. Because gratitude begets confidence. And confidence is naturally attractive.
Plus, you’ll just find yourself enjoying your work more.
Can you be more grateful today? It could make all the difference to you—as a writer and as a person.
What five things are you most thankful for today? Please share in the comments section below.
Jeff Goins is a writer, marketing consultant, and pseudo-geek. If ideas in this post resonated with you, you can download his popular eBook The Writer’s Manifesto for more motivation to write for the right reasons.
What an awesome thing to remember! Sometimes I have to step back and look at how far I’ve come, instead of lamenting where I haven’t yet been Thanks for the reminder!!
You’re welcome, PK. Thanks for reading!
Thanks for the reminder. I have been remiss of late. I have been keeping a gratitude journal for a number of years. No matter how bad or good a day I might have, I know its important to take the time to find the blessings that truly abound around us, and I close my eyes with a smile. I also worked in an organisation that supported women who were victims of violence and gave an occasional gratitude journal as a gift. With or without a journal, practising and living with gratitude can change your outlook and remind us that life is a wondrous adventure. Living with gratitude cannot help but affect everything that we are and do!
You’re totally welcome, Shelley. You’re right — gratitude affects everything. Thanks for the comment!
Great reminder. An attitude of gratitude can turn a normal day into an exceptional day.
1. Great family time this long weekend
2. That God uses my 7 year old to constantly teach me things about Himself.
3. Coffee
4 Sushi
5 Amazing friends
Thanks, Eileen! love that list. #3 is a big one for me!
Great post, Jeff. Thank you! I need to print this and post it somewhere so that I see it daily.
~ sheryl
I’m honored, Sheryl! I hope you do.
What a great post!
1. A wonderful husband who “had to go to the doctor” before work so he could stay with me a little longer this morning.
2. The smell of country apple Bath and Body Works soap.
3. The thirteen books on my nightstand waiting to be read.
4. Wonderful Twitter friends and blogging friends.
5. Insanely warm polar bear pajama pants that I bought from the little boy section.
Love this list, Ashley, especially #3. You and I should have a competition!
1. The reminder to wake up every day with a grateful heart.
2. A restful weekend
3. Cool weather
4. A loving husband
5. The comforts of our home that I usually take for granted.
Love the encouragement today, Jeff. Thanks for the reminder to stop comparing myself to others. I need that every day!
Me, too, Merritt. Me, too…
I think most writers are optimistic. You have to be to because the odds are against you in this business. However, frustration can take its toll, so this is great advice.
Well said, Glen.
In first place, I want to say that this post is wonderfull!!!
Then, that I agree with everything.
And I want to thank for this post. It´s very good and helpfull, i believe.!
Kisses, and if you want, you may visit my blog, but it is in portuguese.
Kisses
Thanks so much!
Thank you for this reminder. Gratitude opened my eyes particularly wide today, too, when I’ve been preoccupied with much else, but has more recently changed my entire perspective on what is ultimately important and worthy of time and attention in this life. Learning to let go of all the things that cloud my ability to appreciate the simple, gargantuan blessings that always manage to lay before me.
Glad to hear it, Cara. This blesses me. Thanks for sharing!
Dear Jeff & Suzannah, Just a few weeks ago, I made a commitment to list 6 things I’m grateful for at my blog every day. I hope it’s not poor etiquette to include this link:
http://roolily.wordpress.com/2011/08/18/intentional-gratitude/
I use CTRL-F to avoid duplicates. What a fun daily activity.
Your eloquence here helps me feel even better about the project, Jeff. Thank you so much. (Yes, you made the list today.) 🙂
Thanks, Ruth! I’m honored!
Wow, did I ever need to read this today. I’m generally a pretty grateful person, but today I slipped and found myself wallowing in self-pity after a handful of depressing work-related emails landed in my in-box. Your post was just the reminder I needed to snap out it, take a deep breath and remember all the wonderful things I have in my life. What I am grateful for right this very moment? Your post tops my list. Thank you, Jeff.
Wow, Jeff. You took this topic and blew it wide open! Very Thought-provoking. Very valuable. Thanks!
Thanks, Julie! Appreciate that.
Great post! For me, another cynical root is the difficulty of getting published…
But here without censor, my 5:
1. Wonderful educational resources available to my kids.
2. Husband and I getting along much better
3 an actually happy summer
4. dear,dear writer friends
5. A recent story acceptance. Woo hoo!
Yep. Been there before. A belated thanks for the comment!
Great post & excellent way to start the morning!
5 Things I’m Grateful for
1. The E’s (my two teenage sons) & my wonderful sister Martha
2. My beautiful apartment with the gold walls and view of Elliott Bay.
3. The privilege of taking yoga classes at a wonderful studio with amazing teachers.
4. R.H. & all the help he gives me.
5. My busy gig schedule.
Jeff thank you for reminding us how easy one can fall into a pattern of negative thinking. I have been using the 100% model since January, while challenging, I must admit that giving EVERYTHING you do 100% is getting easier. It is also helping me to be less sensitive…when someone is negative towards me.
Thank you again and oh my 5:
Husband; kids; grandkids; job and so grateful for the positive response for my soon to be released book!
I am grateful for:
1. Getting to live everyday with my dream man.
2. My health.
3. Two daughters who make me unbelievably proud.
4. The opportunity to pursue my dreams.
5. The research I already have done that is helping me immensely with my writing today.
PS – I’ve been struggling since birth with my negative attitude, and it’s definitely worth the struggle to get over it.
Enjoyed this article but I’d like to expand on the comment, “There’s something about being creative that causes you to be cynical. It must be the hyper-sensitivity to all things and the general intuitiveness that artists tend to possess.”
There’s much to be said for writers’ having a greater tendency toward cynicism, however, that same hyper-sensitivity is the very thing that gives us capabilities of self-expression in ways others miss.
I prefer to be and to look for the best in the world around me and in others. Maybe I’m an old fashioned romantic. Trust me, my moral outrage toward injustice is equal to anyones and I express it, but it is not the overarching component in what I write. Maybe we are just a little bi-polar.
Having said all that, this is a wonderful article Jeff and I don’t mean to suggest it isn’t.
Great post, Jeff. Why is it that we have to be reminded to cherish the good things we have in life? Thankfully there are individuals like yourself who write blogs that kick us in the booty. An attitude of gratitude is a hard thing to keep in mind on a daily basis but definitely well worth the effort. I’m thankful for my two kids, my loving husband, my two dogs and horse, my ability to write every day, and my health.
Patti
The first time Oprah introduced her “Gratitude Journal” I also scoffed. Then I thought about my life, not only as a writer, but the kids, the career now behind me and I knew I had a great deal to be grateful for.
I am a writer and that means for my whole life I have collected the sounds and sights around me, the people who passed by on the avenue under my window while my kids slept in the next room, the times I knew I had done a good job and didn’t need a pat on the back. The very fact that I can write and find so many ways to express all the things I’ve seen makes me fill up. It can get sentimental, but what’s wront with sentiment? I love meeting writers in places like WIP and I’m grateful to Suzannah for creating such a wonderful place for us to meet and talk to each other.
Thanks Jeff, for reminding us how lucky we all are for the things we too often take for granted.
My pleasure, Florence. We have more than we know.
This was a wonderful post! Thank you so much , you’ve definitly managed to get readers to realise how awesome life is.
(By the way, I think that the writers who tend to write certain genres (like literary fiction) tend to be more optimistic than those who write genres like high fantasy)
Things I am greatful for:
1.friends (you’ve gotta love that they’re always there for you 🙂 )
2.the Internet (so I can meet with and network with so many other people :D)
3. Arts *********, a school where I can improve at the writing craft 🙂
4. This blog, for teaching me so much. And many other blogs in general.
5. This post, because it’s made me slightly hapier =)
Well said, Chiaki. Life is, indeed, awesome.
Slightly is an understatment -_- *curses that I can’t edit the comment* I’m a lot happier now, actually. Now that I’ve realised how fortunate I am 🙂
Great post, Jeff. Being negative is so easy that we often lean that way without even thinking. And you’re right. There’s so much to be thankful for. So, so much. Thanks for the reminder to pull focus a bit and see things through a wider lens.
You’re welcome, Ryan. Appreciate your reading and commenting.
I was definitely encouraged/challenged by this. It’s funny– I often convince myself I shouldn’t write unless I have some groundbreaking experience or insight to share, but truth is, in stepping back and feeling grateful, I realize the subjects are endless. Maybe writing should be less about seeking out the perfect story and more about telling the ones right around you.
Ooh, good one, Curt.
Thank you Suzanne and Jeff. This is a great article and being reminded of all the things I need to be grateful for immediately lifted my spirits. There is so much but my five for this article are:
1 I know who I am in the Kingdom of God
2 I am grateful for having known 25yrs of a good marriage
3 My children family and friends are a delight to me
4 I am so grateful to have the opportunity to write
5 I am grateful for the multitude of web articles that are helping me to learn this craft
Great thing to be reminded of. Many thanks for this!
— Tom
My pleasure, Tom. Thanks for reading