Today’s post is written by Lisa Fellinger.

According to a recent survey, over 80 percent of the 2000 people surveyed said they’d like to write a novel someday, but less than 1 percent of Americans have finished and published a book. That’s a huge discrepancy!

What’s causing people who dream of writing a book to not follow through? In my work as a book coach, I’ve heard from many writers who have long dreamed of writing a book but are struggling to make that happen. And while everyone’s situation is a bit different, the reasons my clients have struggled with this almost always comes down to self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are beliefs we hold about ourselves or how the world works that limit our ability to be successful. Self-limiting beliefs can look like telling ourselves “I’m not smart enough” or “I don’t have the time.” Self-limiting beliefs are often so ingrained in our thinking that we don’t even notice them, which is what makes them so powerful at stopping us from reaching goals, such as writing a book.

As a book coach with a background in mental health counseling, I work with my clients to not only teach them the mechanics of how to write a story that works but to also address those self-limiting beliefs that have been holding them back from committing to writing their stories. After all, you could be an incredibly talented writer, but if you can’t get out of your own way to actually get the story down, you’ll never finish a manuscript.

While many of us hold self-limiting beliefs, the good news is that once we’re made aware of them, we can work to overcome them. And once we overcome them, we’re free to pursue our goals, including writing a novel.

Where Do Self-Limiting Beliefs Come From?

Self-limiting beliefs can develop from multiple experiences, but some of the most common ways these form include:

• Childhood Experiences: Painful experiences or thoughts imposed on us in our early years can create unconscious self-limiting beliefs. Because we’re so young when these experiences occur, we have little other evidence to contradict the forming of a self-limiting belief, and these beliefs tend to stick with us well into adulthood as we’ve accepted them as “the way the world works.”
• Past Failures: Failing at something that means a lot to us can be painful. If we attempt something and fail, it’s easy for our brain to believe it was because we weren’t good enough, smart enough, etc., and generalize those thoughts to other situations, therefore creating a self-limiting belief.
• Societal Norms: The generally accepted thoughts and standards of the society we’re raised in can contribute to the development of self-limiting beliefs. If a girl is raised hearing repeatedly that boys are smarter at science than girls, for example, it’s likely she’ll internalize the belief that she isn’t as smart at science as men and likely won’t pursue a career in a scientific field.

Common Self-Limiting Beliefs in Writers

While any number of self-limiting beliefs can affect writers and prevent them from starting and/or finishing writing their stories, some of the common ones include:

• Imposter Syndrome: This self-limiting belief affects many writers, new and seasoned alike. Because writing isn’t something that requires a degree or specific training to get started in or be successful at, many new writers believe they aren’t “real” writers because they don’t look like the successful authors they read. And many published authors continue to struggle with imposter syndrome well into their publishing careers due to comparing themselves to others who are further along than them. This is often an issue indie authors struggle with, but more and more I’m hearing traditionally published authors admitting to struggling with imposter syndrome as well.
• Perfectionism: While we used to look at perfectionism as a “good” thing (after all, who wouldn’t want to strive for perfection in their work?), it’s becoming more and more understood that perfectionism is a self-limiting belief in disguise. Perfection simply isn’t possible, particularly in something as subjective as writing, so striving for perfection only guarantees we’ll never succeed.
• Fear of Failure: Failure is a part of life, but it can be easy to allow a fear of failure to prevent us from trying something new in the first place. If we had previous experiences with failure, particularly with something that was meaningful to us or a public failure, the belief that failure is bad and should be avoided at all costs can become ingrained in our minds.
• Lack of Time: This is one of the most common self-limiting beliefs I hear from writers and work with them to overcome. On the surface, a lack of time seems like a valid reason not to pursue writing a novel. Doesn’t it make sense to wait until there’s time to spare? But the truth it, we have time for the things we prioritize in our lives and there will always be other obligations keeping us busy. Yes, we may not have the amount of time we wish we had to work on our writing, but many novels have been written in the spare moments between the rest of our obligations. My first published book was written in the mornings before work and on my lunch breaks. Just because we are busy doesn’t mean we can’t find the time to write a novel if it’s something that is truly important to us.

Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

Clearly, self-limiting beliefs have the ability to derail our dream of writing a novel. But since these beliefs are held in our own minds, that means the only thing standing between us and our dream of writing a novel is us. And that means it’s fully within our control to change.

Overcoming self-limiting beliefs isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely worth the effort. Here are some steps you can take to work on overcoming these beliefs:

• Raise Awareness: Since self-limiting beliefs are often automatic, they can be difficult to notice when they occur. Since they make generalizations about ourselves or the world, it can be hard to recognize the thoughts as a self-limiting belief rather than an accepted fact. Raising awareness around self-limiting beliefs requires a conscious effort to pay attention when you’re feeling uncomfortable to what specific thoughts are going through your mind. When you think about writing a novel but then tell yourself you can’t, what thought goes through your mind? Whatever that thought is, even if you think it’s a fact rather than a belief, make a note of it. Journaling can be very helpful here or keeping notes in your phone or another handy location can also work.
• Find the Evidence: My favorite cognitive-behavioral intervention from my mental health training was “show me the evidence.” When a client states a belief about themselves or the world, we challenge those thoughts by asking the client to show us the evidence. For example, if your belief is you’re not smart enough to write a book, what is the evidence for that belief? Often, the evidence cited is skewed in some way. A client might state they’re not smart enough and cite a failed English test as evidence. But the reality is that just because you failed an English test ten years ago doesn’t mean you’re not smart enough to write a novel. There could have been any number of reasons you failed the test, and besides, your knowledge of a book read in tenth-grade English doesn’t determine your ability to write a book you’re passionate about. Finding the evidence and then breaking it down to find the flaws in your thinking can help to weaken those belief systems.
• Positive Affirmations: Positive affirmations are statements you repeat to yourself (aloud or by writing them down) that help to retrain your brain. Once you’ve identified your self-limiting beliefs, you can choose positive affirmations that specifically counter those beliefs. While not an overnight solution, consciously practicing these positive affirmations can help your brain retrain itself to counteract the self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs can wreak havoc on your dreams of writing a novel, but the good news is that since they exist in your own mind, you have full control over changing them. While not easy, it’s worth making the effort to identify your self-limiting beliefs and work to overcome them so you can move forward with your goals and finally write the novel you’ve been dreaming of writing.