Today’s post is written by Judith Pratt.

I began my writing journey as a playwright.

When your play is produced or read, there’s often an audience feedback session after the show. Even when well-managed, those discussions can create confusion for the writer. Everyone has opinions, even when they’re incoherent about them.

I once had a play read for my then-writers’ group. The conversation got so off track that one woman joked, “Maybe it should have been a ballet!” That comment haunted me for too long.

Now that I am accustomed to getting feedback for my stories, essays, and novels, I always look for things I can use. How do I know what to use and what to dismiss?

Check your fears.

Writers need editors. There’s only so far I can go editing my own material, then I need an outside eye. It takes practice to hear feedback without feeling that your hard work is being slammed. But it’s the only way to do your best writing.

If you find feedback difficult, just listen, take notes, and go back to the notes when you’ve had time to calm yourself.

Do your own editing first.

Pretend you’ve never seen it before. Then you’ll have to get over your love of your hard work! Decide how to give and get feedback. Each writer’s group differs in this, but it’s important to agree on a process.

For example with my small writers’ group, I can ask questions if I don’t see how I can use the feedback. Not all writers’ groups allow this. If anyone—a teacher, an editor, or another writer—just says,“This is awful!” ignore them. Or say, “I can’t use that. Can you be more specific?” But do not argue! If you can’t find a way to agree with the feedback, listen very nicely, say “Thank you,” and ignore it.

Read Liz Lerman’s Critical Response Process and see if your writers’ group can use it.

Consider the source.

In my writing group, one person can spot a plot hole that everyone else misses. Another person once edited academic articles, so finds every misplaced comma. A third one is also a visual artist, so she asks for more description. Another one loves almost everything.

I’m careful with the academic editor, because sometimes it doesn’t work for stories. And it’s nice to be loved, but I don’t ever fully believe it. I’d never ask for feedback on a story or novel from someone I don’t know, unless it’s from a professional editor or publisher. I’m amazed that folks post writing on Facebook and ask for feedback!

Get it in writing.

In a writers’ group, you can ask for folks to put their edits on the document. For example, they might use “Track Changes” on MS Word. When one of my plays is read or performed, I take detailed notes on the feedback.

Know yourself.

I definitely need to add more description to my novels and stories. I began as a playwright, and still somehow think I have designers to create the set, so I don’t need to describe it! Thanks to my writer’s group, I now can work on this.

As you get feedback, figure out what your good and not-so-good points are.

Sometimes the problem is not where anyone thinks it is.

I learned this when directing plays. A scene isn’t working. No one’s ideas make it better. Then I realize the problem began before that scene!

Example: The reader asks, “Why did she respond so angrily in this scene?” Trying to figure out that comment, I realize that I never set up her fears clearly enough.

Read in your genre. Read outside your genre. As you learn what you need to work on, read to see how other writers do it.

Finally, Chad Abraxas wrote . . .

Make a list of all your favorite books.

Go look them up on Amazon and sort reviews by one star. Read all the negative things. I did this for a favorite book, then a favorite writer.

Wow. How can people hate the writers that I love?

Because some stories and books are mine, some are not. It doesn’t always change their quality.

When giving or getting feedback, keep that firmly in mind. It might not be a story you love, but you can still notice places that don’t quite work.