This week, I went to the library to load up on new books.
I deliberately chose one light read, so I would easily be able to identify its story structure–something I’ve been researching lately.
Though I wasn’t expecting literary perfection, I was quite disappointed in my selection. I found a number of common writing pitfalls that could easily have been fixed.
I’d rather not identify this particular book because I think anyone who’s managed to write a novel and have it published has accomplished something amazing. Still, I think we can all learn from the things that irritate us as readers.
Here are 6 easily-fixed weaknesses I found in this particular novel:
1. Too Derivative
Think total rip-off of Bridget Jones’s Diary. Everything about this novel is something I’ve already read or seen somewhere else. There’s absolutely nothing that sets it apart from other chick-lit books.
2. Stereotypical Characters
The main character is (you guessed it) a thirty-something professional woman living in a big city, looking for Mr. Right. Throw in two cliched best pals (one outgoing, one reserved) and a boisterous gay friend, and you’ve got a full cast of stereotypical characters.
Come to think of it, didn’t Bridget Jones hang out with those very same people?
3. Improper Story Structure
As I mentioned earlier, my main reason for choosing a light read was to be able to quickly spot the story structure. Unfortunately, the structure of this novel was off.
If you don’t know much about story structure, you can find tons of great articles by Larry Brooks over at Storyfix. Basically, a story should consist of a set-up, a response, an attack, and a resolution (in that order).
In this book, the inciting incident happens within the first few pages, and the ‘response’ part of the story takes up nearly the entire rest of the book. Near the end, you think the main character is going to ‘attack,’ –that is, figure out what she wants and go for it. But that never eventuates and the resolution is rushed, and questionable.
4. Unrealistic Details
The main character in this book pays a visit to a psychiatrist to discuss some of her issues. During one of the scenes in the therapist’s office, I was immediately aware of a few details that didn’t add up in my mind.
This particular psychiatrist–the best one in town–stocks wedding magazines in his waiting room and has a cuckoo clock on his office wall, which chimes every 5 minutes. While these details are meant to be funny, they struck me as too unrealistic.
People with relationship difficulties probably don’t want to read wedding magazines while they wait for therapy, and I might have believed the cuckoo clock if the doctor was described as eccentric instead of well-respected.
They’re only small details, but they can make all the difference if they make your reader say, “No way.”
5. Predictable Ending
I guessed the ending of this book on the first page. At one point later in the story, I almost thought the author was going to go in a different direction, and for the first time since starting, I was looking forward to seeing something unique.
Nope.
While not every story needs a huge plot twist or shocking ending, sometimes it pays to try something just a little out-of-the-box.
6. Lack of Character Arc
Our protagonists should grow through the course of our stories. They grow because–by the ending–they have overcome conflict.
I didn’t see a whole lot of growth in this novel’s main character. She spent the entire book making the same mistakes and exercising the same poor judgment. And, at just the point when I was convinced she had finally learned her lesson and would move into ‘attack’ mode, she went back to doing the same old thing again. It became difficult to sympathize with her plight.
It’s only in the very last pages that this character really starts to see what she needs to do, but I felt her final choices weren’t terribly convincing.
The Quick Fixes
Am I being too harsh?
To be fair, this book isn’t meant to be taken too seriously, but it could have been more fun and a better novel overall if the author had addressed some of these issues during the revision stage.
How can we fix these mistakes in our own work before we send it off to the world?
- Stand out. If you’re using a common premise, find some way to make the story your own. Try changing the setting, the character’s occupation, their motivations. Better yet, give the overdone premises a pass and opt for something fresh in your genre.
- Avoid stereotypes. Give your characters true human characteristics–at least your leading characters. No one is a stereotype in real life. We all have goals, needs, fears.
- Stick to the structure. Story structure exists for a reason; without it, you don’t have a full and satisfying story. Make sure you have a set-up, a response, an attack and a resolution.
- Choose details carefully. It’s so easy to write a scene and not think twice about the small details. When revising, pay close attention to ensure there are no details that contradict or seem out of place.
- Make your reader guess. Yes, most endings are predictable to some extent, but try to keep your readers guessing as long as possible. If you’re giving away your ending on the first page, you might want to rework your manuscript.
- Make your characters learn their lessons. Your main character needs to change throughout the story. By the end, he should have made some kind mental adjustment or realization that allows him to function better in the world. This should be a gradual adjustment, not something thrown in at the last minute.
What weaknesses have you found in books you’ve read?
What are your biggest fiction pet peeves?
Would you like to know more about Story Structure? Catch my review of Story Structure – Demystified that I posted back in October 2009. Any fiction writer will benefit from Larry’s proven knowledge in this area, so please do your novel a favour and buy his eBook on the subject – an eBook for which I am an unashamed affiliate!
I don’t analyze books I’m reading. I think it’s mostly because I read different things to what I actually write (my own way to escape work :)) but all your points sound valid and point to problems that are far too common (I’m guilty of commiting at least two of the mistakes mentioned, though I’m working on it).
Jane, you can still learn a lot by analyzing books that aren’t in your writing genre. I don’t write chick-lit, but this particular novel taught me a lot of things I don’t want to have in my writing! Try it sometime–you’ll be amazed at how much you pick up!
A real pet peeve of mine: a writer who creates false suspense.
For instance: sometimes writers will leave a character’s gender or what kind of narrator they’re using unspecified for several pages at the outset of a story. This makes distracts me from otherwise important exposition. And later when the identity of the mystery person’s revealed and I think “what the hell?!” I wonder: 1) what am I supposed to care about here? 2) did I miss something? 3)does he know what he’s doing?
A really good friend of mine tells a really long, entirely made up story about meeting Chris Farley the day before he died. He likes to tell this story to people who are being rude to our friends. It’s totally believable and invariably sucks his listener in, but at the end when he reveals that the truth the person feels betrayed & really annoyed with him & goes away.
OK to do with rude partygoers, but not with a reader.
I agree, that’s totally irritating. If there’s no good reason for it, then it shouldn’t be included. Above all else, the reader must care!
I really like this post, and there is a lot of helpful stuff here, but I can’t get by one thing: This book was published.
For those of us trying to get our work to break through into the industry, this is disheartening. I constantly read about how writers need to think outside the box and make their work stand out, but this book you base this post on is a complete ripoff of another book. It seems the best way into the industry is stick with the cookie cutter.
For all its faults, that book’s author has an agent and a contract and a publisher and is cashing checks from that book. That sounds like a pretty good formula to me.
Yes, this book was published, and it’s kind of disheartening for the rest of us 🙂 I think this particular writer had a pretty good media platform to begin with (she’s a magazine writer or something–can’t remember), so that might have helped a bit if she had connections. I guess the point is not what’s perfect, but what sells. Perhaps this is the kind of thing that sells well?
Thanks for this breakdown! I need to do more reading for craft – probably after I’ve already read it for pleasure. If it’s a good story, I have a hard time disassociating the elements.
Thanks, Lisa. If you have trouble looking for particular elements, try taking notes while you read. It’s a strategy that really helps me focus on the story while I read, helps me break it down. Interestingly, it doesn’t seem to detract for the reading experience, either–at least for me!
Hey, loved this post, but I think you missed one weakness: the overuse of coincidence. The main book I am talking about when I say this is Maximum Ride:The Angel Experiment by James Patterson. Throughout the story, these genetically altered preteens suddenly discover new talents and abilities right at the exact point that they are needed. I have read some books where some things appear to be too coincidental, but in this book it seemed like every time the group got in a jam, a new power would manifest which was exactly what they needed.
Thanks for adding that one, Kyle. I think overuse of coincidence may have been the one weakness I didn’t find in this book, actually! It’s a good one to note though. Very irritating, and just plain lazy!
I can’t do this when I read a book or I would never enjoy a book again. And on #3 – do you like any stories that have strayed from the standard story structure?
Clair, Analyzing a story has never made me enjoy a book any less than just straight reading, but perhaps that’s because I tend to do it in my head naturally, whether I take notes or not!
As for your question, I have a degree in English Lit, so I have read and loved many books that didn’t have standard structure. But, this was a work of highly commercial fiction, and straying from the structure in this case wasn’t an artistic choice–it was a sloppy one. That’s why I counted it as a serious weakness–because commercial literature is expected to live up to certain standards.
My biggest annoyance is when the lead is just a wish-fulfilment vessel for the author. If they’re funny, demonstrably smart and original characters, okay. But, if they’re just straight-talking, hard-fighting heroes who the girls can’t resist, that’s a story I won’t be finishing, and that’s a writer who won’t sell me another book.
Yes, funny when writers make their heroes/heroines the perfect kind of people they’d love to be!
wow, that was enlightening. hope to use these when i write mine 😀
Yep, I would say you’ve definitely nailed the most common issues I see in manuscripts. Even in published books. However, I totally agree with you–they did something right to get published, so I can’t knock them too much. 🙂
Fantastic, and easy to understand advice Suzannah. I agree – Larry’s site has taught me a great deal about story structure, (among other things).
I’ve been writing short stories and flash for almost two years now, (although I’ve written “something” all my life), and have just started on the journey of writing a novel. The most challenging problem I’ve faced thus far is forcing myself to keep on writing, rather than reading what I just wrote and trying to fix it right away. I know, I know…. but the point of that is I’ve noticed many places where I’ve gotten seemingly small details, that are truly Big details, wrong – for example, a character puts on a sweater to stand outside in the snow while another follows her a few minutes later with sweat dripping down her face. There was a reason for this, which you may have already guessed – hormones – but I hadn’t put the first clue of that nuance in the story at all. Yes, those little details can make all the difference in the world.
You must be quite a forgiving reader. If I’m not hooked within the first few pages, or if I note cliches all over the place, the book is out the window, (sometimes literally), in no time. My biggest pet peeve? Gosh, there are so many, but I supposed the main one is when a writer goes out of their way to describe a character’s dress, or surroundings, only to leave it hanging, giving it no purpose at all to the story. That just irritates the bejesus out of me.
Gracious! I didn’t mean for my comment to be longer than your post. 🙂 Just goes to show how inspirational this is. Thank you so much.
Thanks, Deanna 🙂 As for being a forgiving reader, I only persevered with this particular book because I knew it would make a good post! If I’d been reading for pleasure, it would’ve been out the window far sooner.